A whole mix of emotions came into play today as I dropped Kloe off for her first day in Kindergarten. I think that as I was going through this with our oldest child I took the normalcy of dropping your child off to their first day of school for granted. Usually you walk into this classroom with all the same aged kids running around being just as excited and still slightly nervous to be starting school. You show them where to put their backpack and find their desk give them a kiss and know they are going to have a great year.
Today with Kloe it was different. Not bad just different. We didn't walk in through the same doors as the rest of the kids starting Kindergarten. We didn't see kids just her age in her class room. The backpack hooks were way too high for Kloe to reach. Her class was small in comparison to the average Kindergarten class. But we walked into that class with her teachers calling her by name with huge smiles on their faces. We walked in to older kids who were excited to see new faces who helped Kloe find toys to play with at her desk until class time started. We had teachers reassure us that Kloe would be great and that she would be taken to the bathroom so that she wouldn't have any accidents at school.
As a mom to a child with special needs you there are times when you feel like you child is so much like other kids their age. You hit these mild stones you have worked twice if not harder to reach so that your child is as close to developmentally appropriate as they can be. Then there are days like today when you realize, and most of the time for me it smacks me in the face, that your child isn't just like everyone else. They sometimes have to do things differently. They sometimes have to walk through that different door than the rest of the kids their age.
What does that really mean though....
It doesn't mean that Kloe isn't going to love school. It doesn't mean that she isn't going to learn and grow, make friends, or love her teachers.
It just means that I am going to have to get used to things being a little different for Kloe sometimes. I think sometimes I like to throw myself a pity party. During this time I often think to myself why can't things just be easy sometimes. Why is everything so difficult for a child who already has many challenges that she has to face. Everything takes more time, more patience, more everything. I don't think that these feeling are anything usual for a parents with special needs kids but let me tell you the difference is we get over that really fast. I only will let myself feel discourage for one day and then I move on. I realize that although Kloe comes with more challenges she also comes with more love, more ways to teach me, and so many other things that come with that extra chromosome.
I really don't know what I would do without her in my life. I know that you are constantly supposed to learn and progress in this life and that is exactly what Kloe gives our family. Days like this are few and far between thank goodness but they provide so much growth to me as a mom.
P.S. In case you are wondering Kloe will get to spend time with her same aged Kindergarten peers which I had to fight very hard at school to get. She will be doing about 50/50 time in a self contained class room and a regular Kindergarten setting. To all the moms out there who are wondering how hard to push for inclusion do it. It isn't just about your child being around their peers it is also about their peers being around them. I hope that in the future Kloe's school will continue to work with us on her schedule so that we can have as much time as possible with her peers with also getting the help that she needs to learn on her level.
Today with Kloe it was different. Not bad just different. We didn't walk in through the same doors as the rest of the kids starting Kindergarten. We didn't see kids just her age in her class room. The backpack hooks were way too high for Kloe to reach. Her class was small in comparison to the average Kindergarten class. But we walked into that class with her teachers calling her by name with huge smiles on their faces. We walked in to older kids who were excited to see new faces who helped Kloe find toys to play with at her desk until class time started. We had teachers reassure us that Kloe would be great and that she would be taken to the bathroom so that she wouldn't have any accidents at school.
As a mom to a child with special needs you there are times when you feel like you child is so much like other kids their age. You hit these mild stones you have worked twice if not harder to reach so that your child is as close to developmentally appropriate as they can be. Then there are days like today when you realize, and most of the time for me it smacks me in the face, that your child isn't just like everyone else. They sometimes have to do things differently. They sometimes have to walk through that different door than the rest of the kids their age.
What does that really mean though....
It doesn't mean that Kloe isn't going to love school. It doesn't mean that she isn't going to learn and grow, make friends, or love her teachers.
It just means that I am going to have to get used to things being a little different for Kloe sometimes. I think sometimes I like to throw myself a pity party. During this time I often think to myself why can't things just be easy sometimes. Why is everything so difficult for a child who already has many challenges that she has to face. Everything takes more time, more patience, more everything. I don't think that these feeling are anything usual for a parents with special needs kids but let me tell you the difference is we get over that really fast. I only will let myself feel discourage for one day and then I move on. I realize that although Kloe comes with more challenges she also comes with more love, more ways to teach me, and so many other things that come with that extra chromosome.
I really don't know what I would do without her in my life. I know that you are constantly supposed to learn and progress in this life and that is exactly what Kloe gives our family. Days like this are few and far between thank goodness but they provide so much growth to me as a mom.
P.S. In case you are wondering Kloe will get to spend time with her same aged Kindergarten peers which I had to fight very hard at school to get. She will be doing about 50/50 time in a self contained class room and a regular Kindergarten setting. To all the moms out there who are wondering how hard to push for inclusion do it. It isn't just about your child being around their peers it is also about their peers being around them. I hope that in the future Kloe's school will continue to work with us on her schedule so that we can have as much time as possible with her peers with also getting the help that she needs to learn on her level.
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