...So its right after giving birth to Kloe our OBGYN tells us that she has some characteristics of down syndrome. Now this did come to us by surprise because we decline the tests that would have told us ahead of time. We have always felt that it wouldn't matter to us and so there is no reason to stress yourself out for five months of your pregnancy.
The rest of this post is going to be about the emotions that we went through the first 12 hours after Kloe was born. Our emotions were pretty all over the place and so will this post. I hope I can describe them enough so you will understand our journey.
Right after the doctor told us this information the first thing that came over me was fear. I was afraid of the unknown, but mostly afraid for the health of my new baby girl. I didn't know much about down syndrome at this point and I didn't know if she had any health issues. I remember looking up at Kody and by the look in his eyes I knew he was feeling that same fear. I started to cry. I don't want anyone to think I was ever sad or ashamed of Kloe, but my emotions were raw and overwhelming. I told Kody I was scared and he hugged me. After a few minutes of what I don't remember we finally felt like we should follow through with our plan to introduce Briley to her new sister first before we let anyone else come in. As Kody left my room I realized it was the first time that I was alone with Kloe and I looked into her cute face and I feel in love. My fears disappeared for a moment as I looked at the beautiful little girl that changed my life forever. I knew no matter what I loved her and that moment alone with her really was a sacred time I cherish.
While Kody was out in the waiting room to get Briley he told his parents about Kloe's extra chromosome. He then brought Briley into the room to meet her sister for the first time. Kody's parents weren't to far behind and when they entered the room I started crying. I was so overwhelmed with emotions. Kody's mom (Kris) came over to the bed and gave me a hug. She asked me how I was and I told her the truth, I was scared. She then reminded me that right after Kody and I got married we were having a conversation one day when I told her that I knew I would have a child born with special needs and that everything was going to be ok. She told me that she called my mom and dad and told them and that they would be here in the morning.
We were then moved into the recovery side of the labor and delivery wing when Kody and I just had time for ourselves with our new baby. We didn't really want to see anyone else because of the emotions we were going through. I am so grateful for that time with Kody. There wasn't another soul on earth at that time that I could tell my true feelings that would fully understand them besides him. These hours strengthen our bond as husband and wife and as a mother and father. We were able to love on our little girl and truly learn how special she is.
The next morning Kloe had to get a few tests done on her heart and we were told that we couldn't watch her as she was going through them. Right after we had to leave the room we saw Kody's brother waiting for us. I was a wreck again because all I wanted to do is stay with my baby. Damon offered his love and support and stayed until they brought Kloe back in the room. Then something happened that really showed us the power of her spirit. Damon held Kloe and the look that he gave her showed me how everyone was going to feel when they got to meet our angel. Don't tell him this but I think he even cried.
The rest of this post is going to be about the emotions that we went through the first 12 hours after Kloe was born. Our emotions were pretty all over the place and so will this post. I hope I can describe them enough so you will understand our journey.
Right after the doctor told us this information the first thing that came over me was fear. I was afraid of the unknown, but mostly afraid for the health of my new baby girl. I didn't know much about down syndrome at this point and I didn't know if she had any health issues. I remember looking up at Kody and by the look in his eyes I knew he was feeling that same fear. I started to cry. I don't want anyone to think I was ever sad or ashamed of Kloe, but my emotions were raw and overwhelming. I told Kody I was scared and he hugged me. After a few minutes of what I don't remember we finally felt like we should follow through with our plan to introduce Briley to her new sister first before we let anyone else come in. As Kody left my room I realized it was the first time that I was alone with Kloe and I looked into her cute face and I feel in love. My fears disappeared for a moment as I looked at the beautiful little girl that changed my life forever. I knew no matter what I loved her and that moment alone with her really was a sacred time I cherish.
While Kody was out in the waiting room to get Briley he told his parents about Kloe's extra chromosome. He then brought Briley into the room to meet her sister for the first time. Kody's parents weren't to far behind and when they entered the room I started crying. I was so overwhelmed with emotions. Kody's mom (Kris) came over to the bed and gave me a hug. She asked me how I was and I told her the truth, I was scared. She then reminded me that right after Kody and I got married we were having a conversation one day when I told her that I knew I would have a child born with special needs and that everything was going to be ok. She told me that she called my mom and dad and told them and that they would be here in the morning.
We were then moved into the recovery side of the labor and delivery wing when Kody and I just had time for ourselves with our new baby. We didn't really want to see anyone else because of the emotions we were going through. I am so grateful for that time with Kody. There wasn't another soul on earth at that time that I could tell my true feelings that would fully understand them besides him. These hours strengthen our bond as husband and wife and as a mother and father. We were able to love on our little girl and truly learn how special she is.
The next morning Kloe had to get a few tests done on her heart and we were told that we couldn't watch her as she was going through them. Right after we had to leave the room we saw Kody's brother waiting for us. I was a wreck again because all I wanted to do is stay with my baby. Damon offered his love and support and stayed until they brought Kloe back in the room. Then something happened that really showed us the power of her spirit. Damon held Kloe and the look that he gave her showed me how everyone was going to feel when they got to meet our angel. Don't tell him this but I think he even cried.
I don't really remember the order of who came to see us but there is one thing that will always be burned into my memories. Their are somethings in life you will never forget and the moment I saw my mom and dad meet Kloe for the first time was one of them. They were so in love with her and of coarse being me I cried, they cried, everybody cried. The love that little girl and we were were shown in the four days we were in the hospital after she was born was overwhelming and I am so grateful for all the support. It really showed me that although my journey was going to be a little different than I had expected, it would still be full of love and support.
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